buses here are really small... 20 passengers max... we were on one after church last sunday... then 2 mothers and their 2 sons boarded the bus... moms were japs... believe that the sons' fathers were africans...
the older boy was able to sit and be quiet... but oh... not the younger one... i reckon... about 6-7yo... and boy... wad a handful he was...
he refused to sit... wanted to run up and down the bus... and when mom tried to restrain him by grabbing the clothes of his left shoulder... he wiggled and whined... and then crawl up mom's skirt..!
the whole time... my gals were just stunned at the behaviour...
all mom did was... 'please stop it'... in jap... while still holding onto his shirt... and boy is like all over the floor... with his head up her skirt... and trying to lift it up...
at this time hubby stood up from his seat... grabbed hold of the boy... looked him in the eye... and told him to sit down... and stop causing trouble... *my hero...* =)
but the peace didnt last 2 min... and he was up and tried to escape from his mom again... poor mom... from hubby's face... i could tell that he was so close to slapping the child... haha...
thankfully... we had reached the terminal... and we all got off the bus...
almost immediately... the gals started talking about the incident... and then asked us what we would have done if THEY were behaving like that in public...
i tried to think of an answer as to how i'd tackle such a situation... but hubby came in and said... 'we dont have to handle this... cos we know our gals will never behave like that in public'...
and that is so true... most 'manifestations' we so often see in public... are just because 'teaching' has been lacking at home...
like the case of the boy... if the boy had been taught the meaning of 'no'... or 'stop it' at home... or if mom has been consistent at home... such a scene may not have happened...
i feel really old when i broach this subject on parenting... like i belong to my mom's era... or even my grandma's... =P
parents in my generation seem to find it so difficult to say 'no' to their children... maybe it's because of the little time that they have with their children... and so... wanting each moment to be sweet and memorable...
we are so afraid to see the child cry... or fuss... or scream...
well... if the child has never been taught 'no'... yes... he'll cry... fuss and scream... all at the same time... and loudly too... but it'll all pass... he'll know that crying and fussing and screaming... will not get him what he wants...
sometimes.... in fact most of the times... it is our inconsistencies as parents... that have confused our children... we just wanna give them what they want... so that they'll stop bugging us...
but i personally think that it's a lose-lose situation... the child has lost the opportunity to learn... and the parents... the opportunity to seize that moment... and turn it into a teachable moment...
yes... all these take time... but it sure gets easier with time... and consistency...
and yes... you may sound and look so cruel compared to your peers... but keep at it for a few years... and see for yourself... the fruits of your labour...
learn to say 'no' to your children... even if they are just toddlers... it is a myth that they do not understand 'no'... of course they do... we just gotta be consistent... so that they know that 'no' means no... and not 'maybe... depending on your mood'...
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